$0.40

Scared money never wins. 

$0.39

"You don't win friends with salad."

- Homer J. Simpson 

$0.38

Always bring a gift for the host.

$0.37

Sometimes you have to “out-crazy” the crazies.

$0.36

Be careful, anything can become an addiction.

$0.35

Don't be afraid to be right.

$0.34

If you're early, you're on time. 

If you're on time, you're late. 

If you're late, don't bother showing up. 

$0.33

Always do a dead check on zombies you've shot. 

$0.32

If it will take you 5 minutes to do something, don't put it off until later. Do it now or it will never get done.

$0.31

A sexy wife is a suspicious wife.

$0.30

Don't just take a day off now and then. Plan and go on actual vacations. 

$0.29

Eat more vegetables. 

$0.28

If she says she isn't keeping score, you're already losing. 

$0.27

Do at least 1 house chore everyday and your weekends will get longer.

$0.26

If all else fails, tell her she's pretty. 

$0.25

If a trucker is signaling, let him merge in the lane. 

$0.24

Don't chew with your mouth open. 

$0.23

"Measure twice, cut once." Are words to live by. 

$0.22

Think of time as a currency that can never be paid back. 

$0.21

Don't leave dishes in the sink.

$0.20

"Don't half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing." -Ron Swanson

$0.19

Science is not a science. 

$0.18

Having a kid doesn't make you a parent.

$0.17

Money can't buy happiness. Mostly because they don't sell it in stores.

$0.16

By definition you are insignificant. Change it.

$0.15

Don't drink and blog.

$0.14

"It's all bullshit and it's bad for you."

-George Carlin

$0.13

Be ready to do anything for a friend. Even if it requires a certain "moral flexibility".

$0.12

Don't mess with Boston.

$0.11

Meet every challenge with enthusiasm, even if that means just getting out of bed in the morning.

$0.10

Don't wake a sleeping baby unless absolutely necessary.

$0.09

Never forget how to be happy.

It sounds corny, I know, but its something people do by accident then start turning everything over in their lives looking for it.

$0.08

Put family first.

$0.07

Be wary of wild animals that aren't wary of you.

$0.06

Always follow through with ultimatums. People can't call a bluff that doesn't exist.

$0.05

There is always someone better than you.

$0.04

If you're sick, and it seems like the flu, stay home from work or school.

$0.03

Never skip breakfast.

$0.02

Just because an experiment with drugs worked in animals doesn't mean it will be helpful to humans. Most, if not all, news stories are sensationalized. Remember, mice lie and monkeys exaggerate.

$0.01

Eating more calories than your body can use in a day, from any food or drink, will cause you to gain weight.